OK, I'm going to fly in the face of popular opinion and say I didn't really care much for The Dark Knight.

Sure, all of the performances were great, but I thought the story was a little flat, the action was a bit lackluster, and I couldn't help but think "what's the point of it all?"

Over and beyond all the other criticisms I had of the movie was that it was WAY too long. They could have cut an hour and it would have been a much snappier movie. It seemed to drag for me and I kept thinking: surely THIS is the end...? Not a great sign for a movie.

Of course, Ledger was great as the Joker; I didn't think he was as good as Nicholson's Joker, but he was still very creepy. I can't help but think how much better he would have been had the movie been R Rated - he could have really gone to down instead of seeming strangely fettered in this movie. It seemed horribly out of place in a 12A movie.

Overall: A strong 6.5/10. Could do with seeing it again to be sure, but it didn't blow me away as I expected it to. Great performances from Ledger, Cain, and Bale (although I found his Batman voice incredibly grating), but the story was rather too by the numbers for my liking.

And what on earth was going on with that I-only-move-at-two-miles-per-hour Bat Bike thing? 

Is it me, or is the news reporting on an awful lot of floods lately? Last year the UK was practically drowned, and this year it seems to be all over the world. Take a look:

02/07/2008 - Wettest month on record for Hong Kong - The Hong Kong
Observatory has declared June 2008 its wettest month since records
began in 1884.

03/07/2008 - Flash flood alerts for parts of the Philippines - Flood alerts were issued on Thursday for parts of the Philippines, against possible landslides and flash floods.

04/07/2008 - New Tropical Storm forms in the Atlantic - The second
tropical storm of the 2008 Atlantic hurricane season has developed.

06/07/2008 - Freak thunderstorm hits Oslo by - An unusually intense
thunderstorm broke out across Norway’s capital, Oslo, during Saturday
afternoon causing havoc...

07/07/2008 - Humidity helps the Californian wild fires.

09/07/2008 - Floods in South Africa - Torrential rain and floods across the Western Cape has lead to chaos.

So, America, Asia, Europe - that's an awful lot of water coming from somewhere. Now, either we're under attack from the planet Mongo (I'm still waiting for the Hot Hail) or something bad's going on, somewhere...

Is this really the first tangible sign of Global Warming, or has a water pipe broken at Mrs Tipton's cottage in Oxford?

What do you think?

Tonight is the start of Comic Con 08. Probably my favourite 'con' of the year.

But I'm not going.

I'm kinda grumpy about that as I promised myself I'd go this year. Looks like a great line up of events, promotions, and all round superhero / movie / comic goodness.

Check it out!

I suppose I can always console myself with Wall-E and The Dark Knight.

I will be posting news of Comic Con throughout the weekend, as I get it!

Watch this space.

Sorry to go on about Ebay again, but yep, I've had yet more e-buying woes.

I bought a load of items while I was away, to return to a bunch of loverly packages on the doorstep.

Excitement swelled for about two minutes, until... of the three things I bought, one was a fake, one didn't contain the correct items, and the third was only partially correct.

And the postage makes me exceptionally grumpy. One item cost just the price of a first class stamp (around 60p including the packet) - yet the postage was £2.64.

On the plus side: the sellers have been brilliant - for the most part. I got my cash back on one item and the other one is sending out the missing items, so it's not a complete loss, but it's £25 quid down the toilet...

I never learn.

Here's my list of the top robots of all time. I realised pretty quickly that most of them seemed gay to some degree, so, not one to miss an opportunity, I rated the applicable ones on that, too.

15. ED 209 - Robocop - "You have thirty seconds to comply..." This killer robot with massive firepower was stymied by stairs. Pretty big design flaw, really. Probably developed by Microsoft.

 

14. The Gunslinger - West World - Yul Brinner stars as the six-shooter that just won’t stop (he's the Duracell Bunny of killers). He always gets his man… or does he? Gay Factor: 3/10 (he's a cowboy, y'see).

13. The Terminator – The Terminator - Another, even more terrifying version of the hunter/killer robot. This time Arnie (“Uzi Nine Millimetorrr”) plays the muscle-bound monster with one mission: to change the future. It’s far more terrifying without the skin, though. Gay Factor: 2/10 (although with the wearing other people's clothes and the fixation with Sarah Connor - it could go either way). 

12. Gort - The Day The Earth Stood Still - It might just be a man in a rubbish silver suit but Gort represented the unfathomable destructive power of an alien race. Or maybe it was a rubber fetishists fantasy night out... 

11. Fembots - Austin Powers / The Bionic Woman - Gorgeous girlies that will do anything they're programmed to. And machine gun jubblies, baby!

10. Cylons – Battlestar Galactica - The 1980’s versions of the classic TV series were just men in suits (and skirts), but there was still something terrifying about them and their weird red eye. It gives "by your command" a whole new meaning, doesn't it? What you don't know about Cylons is that each one was fitted with a George Foreman Grill attachment to make them the perfect holiday companion (when they weren't killing stuff, that is). 

9. K9 – Doctor Who - Another contender for "gay robot of the year", K9 was obedient and more than capable of defending the TARDIS and his masters. Gay Factor: 6/10. K9 is clearly submissive and has a worrying trend of calling people 'master'. 

8. KITT – Knight Rider - Snippy, wise-cracking, and without a doubt the star of the show, obviously sits on the other side of the garage (the side with the axel grease). On the plus side: he's got turbo boost, fer christ's sakes! Gay Factor: 8/10.

7. Marvin the Paranoid Android - The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy. Never before has an android so resented being alive. To depressed to think about sex, so we have to give this robot a N/A.

6. Cybermen – Doctor Who - More terrifying because they’re humans turned into the army of steel. Really very scary when you're 8 (or in my case, 38). And they have no problems with stairs... 

5. V.I.N.Cent - in an attempt to out gay C3PO, Roddy McDowell voiced the role of this know-it-all robot in Disney's The Black Hole. A wise-cracking, although particularly cute robot. Gay Factor: 9/10 - he's the John Barrowman of robots. In addition, V.I.N.Cent gets a whopping +1 because the movie's called the Black Hole, and that's a whopping innuendo in anyone's book! 

 

4. Daleks – Doctor Yoo Hoo - Once they were the rubbish pepperpots of the universe, now they can fly, have force fields, and they aren’t foxed when you throw paint over their eyestalks. Daleks are cosmic rats, only a thousand times more dangerous. Gay Factor: 4/10 (prone to girly ranting and hysterical shrieking).

5. Robby the Robot - Forbidden Planet - he drinks, burps, and makes dresses made out of diamonds. Truly a girl’s best friend. He was also one of the least gay robots out there; in fact, he was positively macho (compared to, say, the Village People). Gay Factor: 1/10 (but this could be misleading - he's could easily be the Rock Hudson of robots).

2. R2D2 – Star Wars - This overly cute robot was the faithful 'companion' to Luke Skywalker. He could fly in the first three movies, but strangely, not when it warranted it in the later trilogy (which was actually the sequel to the prequel movies… confused yet?). Gay Factor: N/A. Artoo doesn't talk, but who knows what goes in his out-ports when the lights go out? After all, he was designed to provide a 'complete service' to his masters...

1. Lt. Commander Data – Star Trek - This wannabe human deserves to be at number one. Brought to life by Brent Spiner, Star Trek’s number one android made us laugh for seven years. It’s only a pity the writers gave him such an ignominious (and copout) ending to his artificial life. Gay Factor: Unclear. He did shag Tasha Yar, but we're still not convinced.

Not making the list in any sense…

7-Zark-7 - Battle of the Planets - Gayer than a night out with a ‘family pack’ of KY Jelly, an industrial box of latex gloves, and the entire New York City Gay Men’s Chorus. Does anything more need saying? Gay Factor: 12/10. Totally flaming! Don't go anywhere near this robot with a can of WD40, you never know what position you'll end up in. The only thing he'll have you Trans-Muting into is a frock and heels, most probably.

 

Twiki - Buck Rogers - Twiki was not only one of the most annoying robots ever, he has exploited his gay robot status to become a London Rent Boy where he does tricks for metal polish behind London City Hall at 3:00am on a Saturday evening. Gay Factor: 9/10.

C3PO - Star Wars - Adding this robot to the list of gay robots would be unfair. The gayest robot to ever be built and queen of the 'droids (in every sense). It was quite literally based on the memory engrams of Julian Clary, Oscar Wilde, and the writers of every Carry On movie ever made. Gay Factor: DANGER BURNOUT!

So, what have we learned?

That pretty much every sci-fi robot would fit in perfectly at an Elton John diamante party. And we've not even discussed the robot from Lost In Space yet!

Perhaps there should be a fourth Asimov Law of Robotics:

1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

2. A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

4. A robot must be gayer than a pink Christmas tree covered in dildos.

The UK has exploded with alarm at the new Road Tax system the Government is planning to implement in 2010. It basically means that if you have a larger, petrol-guzzling car, you'll pay more for your Road Tax.

In this age of environmental issues, global warming, and general lack of fossil fuels, this seems like a completely fair and reasonable system to me. You choose to have a larger, more expensive car, it follows that you shouldpay more to drive it. Economical, clean, and environmentally friendly cars should be equally rewarded. Electric cars should be completely free to drive; in fact, the Government should be piling all those extra Road Tax pounds into making e-cars more affordable for anyone who wants one.

It's just funny how the rich, who can more than afford to buy their huge and polluting cars, are complaining about the rise in Taxes. 

They should just go out and buy a cheaper car.

The UK health service has come under all kinds of attacks over the years, and believe me, I've got my own personal gripes to settle as I've seen plenty of disasters...

But this latest incident just seemed downright bizarre. Someone very close to me had major back surgery yesterday and was wheeled back into the ward at 9:00pm last night. The surgeon saw him again just before noon today, and less than an hour later, despite being in a drug-addled stupour, he was asked - admittedly very politely - to vacate his room as they needed the bed.

Now, if he'd had an ingrown toenail removed I wouldn't even bat an eyelid, but this was major back surgery and he was barely conscious after all the drugs they'd pumped him with.

Doesn't that seem even a bit odd to anyone else? I just find it absolutely bizarre that he was ejected so soon after an operation of that magnitude. After all, anything could go wrong at this early stage and there'd be little anyone could do about it.

Bizarre or routine... What are your thoughts?

Can't talk about the final episode of Doctor Who season 4, Journey's End, until you've all seen it, but it was a 65 minute special effects extravaganza.

It was, for the most part, brilliant. But the ending... It was, well, decide for yourself whether it was any good or not.

Needless to say, I wouldn't subject any of my characters to that kind of fate; it's just cold. Oh so very cold.

I will admit that I'm glad Russell T Davies' end as Senior Producer is over and that Stephen Moffatt is taking over. New Who is amazing, but the stories are unimaginative and somewhat tired and I think RTD wasn't the best producer to take the helm of the new series.

So, here's to better stories in 2010. And a somewhat uninspired return of the Cybermen for this year's Xmas special.

Contrary to what you might think, it's not something from a horror porno (you've all got such dirty minds).

But I have lost a member of the family - for the THIRD time.

My poor XBOX Elite suffered from the "red ring of death" tonight, meaning a general hardware failure. Like Urethritis, it's a non-specific condition that covers a multitude of sins.

This is my FOURTH 360, which really isn't saying many good things for Microsoft. But I'm not happy - now I've got to go back to the shop and get a new one...

The best thing about working in the media is that you get to see so much great talent.

I had this sent to me the other day. It's a demo reel for someone who wants to work in animation: Demo Reel

I think it's fantastic, and I'm envious that anyone could create something so gorgeous (especially the fishies).

I wish I had that kind of talent. 

We've really never had it so good with great movies, and there's a whole slew of them just around the corner.

Out this week:

Hancock: Will Smith as a down-and-out superhero in what looks to be a very amusing comedy/action adventure.
The Mist: Creepy Stephen King horror.
Wanted: Surprisingly good action adventure featuring the pouty half of Brangelina (here's a hint, it's the half that has boobs! Oh, hang on, that's not really enough of a clue, is it?)
 
Coming Soon

Hellboy 2: Sequel to 2005’s Hellboy.
Batman - The Dark Knight:  More inwardly looking action with your friendly neighbourhood angsty superhero.
Wall-E: Pixar’s animated story of the lonely robot who only wants a friend.
The Mummy 3: Brendan Fraser returns for more undead ass-kicking!
The Ruins: Another horror movie this time in Mexico among some creepy ancient ruins.
Mama-Mia: Movie version of the top Broadway musical.
Kung-Fu Panda: Animated adventures of a panda who wants to be a Kung Fu master.
Meet Dave: Bizarre Eddie Murphy movie about Dave, a robot controlled by tiny people inside his head.

Still Doing the Rounds

Sex and the City:  Hey, it’s still a hard hitter at the movies!
Indiana Jones IV: Fourth instalment of the action archaeologist.
The Incredible Hulk: Remake of the green Marvel behemoth.
The Happening: Another M. Knight Shyamalan ‘twist movie’ about a family being attacked by – something…
Iron Man: Live action adventure based on the Marvel superhero
Prince Caspian: Brilliant and action-packed sequel to 2006’s Chronicles of Narnia.

Now if that lot doesn't tickle your fancy, you've clearly sold it to the Devil.

If you didn't see last Saturday's Doctor Who I won't spoil it for you, but it had easily one of the best cliffhanger endings I've ever seen in a TV show.

I've no idea where they're going to go from here, but suddenly Saturday evening looks a lot more exciting with the season finale of the time travelling Doctor and his Tardis.

On the plus side, the ending was jaw-dropping but the negative was that we've seen this world under siege in *every* season finale so far. It's time for some new writers.

I've just got back from two days in Paris at Blizzard's promotional World Wide Invitational event! It was exhausting and gruelling, but brilliant. I've got so much to talk about, but I have so much on with a massive Jumpgate Evolution interview to write up and work for Wizards of the Coast AND White Wolf Publishing to finish, there's just no time to write up anything here.

I will be talking about Starcraft 2, Diablo 3, and Wrath of the Lich King.

And giving you an honest opinion on the World Wide Invitational.