It's exactly eleven fifty two and mere moments before the new year.

It's always at this time that I wish I'd started this column last year, so I could tell how I felt back then. 

For me, the new year is always a time of reflection. I never feel like I've accomplished enough or advanced sufficiently, and, like many, it's a time of making fresh vows for the new year: to do better, to work harder, to BE better.

Looking back: this year I started working on a professional magazine with a world-wide circulation. I've got a regular column and I'm starting with another publication in January 2008, so it's all looking rather bright for me. I should have a publication date for my HUGE novel in January - which is about the best news anyone in my profession could wish for.

And that's the problem. I wanted to have the novel all done and dusted so I could look back this year and say: Yes! I finally did it.

Now it will be next year, in twelve months' time, when that all happens.

So, while I feel a little disheartened, I know in my heart that 2008 will be all I want it to be, as long as I believe in myself and work toward my goals.

And it can be the same for you as well.

Happy New Year to everyone who reads my column, and thanks for supporting me in the past twelve months.

Regards

Stuart Renton

2007 is all but over, and here’s my list of the heroes and villains from the past 12 months. Overall, it’s been a great year for movies, games, and television, but do you agree?

THE BEST OF 2007

TELEVISION
•    Sarah Jane Adventures – Example of how to do a spin-off show right (Torchwood, take note!).
•    Primeval – great action time-travelling show involving dinosaurs and Hannah Spearitt in white panties – a fact that surely pushed up the ratings! A fantastic first season of this exciting show, with season 2 just around the corner.
•    Dexter – absolutely fantastic show with the right combination of – pretty much everything. Michael C Hall is perfect as the serial killer Dexter. If you’ve not seen it, watch it from the beginning but check it out at once! 

MOVIES
•    300 – Fantastic looking movie. OK so it’s not much on story, but it looks so great with its unique style that it deserves a place in my top movies of 2007.
•    30 Days of Night – Startlingly attractive horror flick. Sure it’s got its flaws, but it looks so lovely, you can almost forgive anything. Now, make a sequel with a decent writer and a proper editor and you’ll have one hell of a scary movie.
•    Stardust – genuinely fun magical comedy that’s reminiscent of those from the 80s (Hocus Pocus). My only gripe about this movie is that it’s slightly too long, but it’s still a fantastic ride with a superb (and slightly shocking) performance from uber macho Robert DeNiro.

GAMES
•    God of War 2 - It’s got boobies and move violence than you can shake a scimitar at!
•    Super Mario Galaxy – AKA the only reason for the Wii to exist. Play this game, it’s gorgeous, but once it’s over it’s back to the cupboard for the Wii until the end of 2008.

THE WORST OF 2007
Here are the sad losers of the year. Shame there are so many. Clearly, the entertainment industry has far too much cash to be spending on badly conceived ideas.

TELEVISION
•    Torchwood – In the style of Torchwood: this show was complete f*cking sh!te and you can kiss my a$$ if you think otherwise you son of a b!tch. A disastrous attempt at an ‘adult’ TV show with immature themes, poorly realised characters, and a profusion of swear words, which, clearly the producers think makes good adult TV. Newsflash: it doesn't.
•    Flash Gordon – Move along. Nothing (good) to see here.

MOVIES (so many to choose from)
•    Bridge to Terabithia – Stick to Hallmark where movies like this belong and don’t entice us to spend our £6.50 with false advertising…
•    Spiderman 3 – A crappy end to a getting steadily crappier series – where was the Venom action we all wanted? Oh that's right, there was three minutes of it! Apparently, the story got in the way of the action.
•    Sunshine - Nice face shame about the story. And, what the hell was going on at the end?
•    The Simpsons Movie - Too much hype and generally rubbish. Akin to an overly long and substandard episode.

GAMES
•    Bioshock – looked lovely, but devoid of anything new. Go play System Shock 2 for a far more fulfilling gaming experience.
•    World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade. Too little WAY too late for Blizzard as they release a half-arsed expansion with none of the content they promised. There's not enough here to reward their loyal fans of two years.

REALLY ANNOYING STUFF
•    The Writers Guild of America Strike! They’ll never make back the cash they’ve lost in striking, and their actions have hit their fans hard. Some shows won’t see the light of day this year and that’s harsh. Farewell my favourite shows. I will miss you!
•    Nintendo Wii Dominating Xmas - when it’s really little more than a glorified calculator (one of those solar powered ones, but a calculator nonetheless).
•    Manhunt 2 Being Cancelled - damn sensors, they’ll cut anything these days. First it was movies in the 80s, now it’s gaming.
•    World of Warcraft - this behemoth is showing no signs of slowing. Well, actually, it is. Server populations are way down, despite Blizzard’s protestations, but if games had populations dependent on the amount of new and revolutionary conntet, WOW would have been closed down years ago. If Sony can manage to churn out great content, new races and classes, why can’t Blizzard – who, after all, has a vastly larger developer team.
•    Rhydian losing to Leon in X Factor - coughs: “FIX”. That’s all I’m saying.

And that's it. The end of 2007. There is no more. I hope you had a great 2007 and that you're looking forward to more movies, games, and great TV shows in 2008.

J. K. Rowling has hinted that she could write an eighth book in the series.

Rowling, 42, admits she has 'weak moments' when she feels she will pen another novel about the boy wizard reports the Daily Mail.

The Newspaper continues: One of her biggest fans – her 14-year-old daughter Jessica – has already put pressure on her to revisit the character.

If an eighth novel were to be written, Rowling concedes it is unlikely that Harry would be the central character.

But in an interview with Time magazine, which put Rowling at No 3 in its Person Of The Year list, she said: "There have been times since finishing, weak moments, when I've said 'Yeah, all right' to the eighth novel."

"If - and it's a big if - I ever write an eighth book, I doubt that Harry would be the central character. I feel I've already told his story."

"These are big ifs. Let's give it ten years."

I said this would happen months ago. She'll never be able to resist doing another series... She'll probably do book 8 when the money starts running out... Mercenary of me, but oh so true.

So, I finally made the leap to High Definition and bought an XBOX 360 HD DVD Player. And boy is there a difference on movies. Everything's crystal clear and it really is a leap forward in visual technology. On a large TV it's like being at the movies...

Only the image is fifty times clearer...

And isn't jumping all over the place...

And doesn't have two hundred popcorn-munching, texting, talking crazy people sitting behind you.

Overall, the whole setup is excellent. My one gripe is that both the XBOX and the HD Drive are very loud, which can be distracting on quieter movies, but other than that, High Definition is the way to go.

Apparently, after the phone lines were 'engaged' for Rhydian votes on the final of X Factor, there has been an investigation following more than 2,500 complaints about the service.

While we wait with absolutely no interest in the results whatsoever (OK, maybe a tiny bit - for pure "I told you so" factor), it makes me wonder just HOW staged the show is.

Clearly, Simon Cowell would rather have pop hits with Leon than clasically trained Rhydian.

So, staged or not? We'll find out soon enough... 

It's amazing how far a little (or rather, a lot) or marketing can go these days. And, like the Duracell Bunny, it's amazing how far a little story will go...

Will Smith is the last man on Earth after the world has been devastated by a virus that has transformed the population into a combination of monstrous vampires and the zombies from 28 Days Later. It's an of action movie (of sorts) based on the book by Richard Matheson

This is an odd movie, while it's graphically impressive and a ruined and deserted New York City looks fantastic, its yet another movie that suffers from little more than eye candy and no substance.

What the trailers and the millions of dollars worth of (very well spent) advertising don't tell you is how very slow it is. It's 90 minutes of stunning looking locations, Smith looking woefully into the camera, and not a lot else...

There are references to god and religion, which, like The Golden Compass, were glossed over with barely a mention.

Oh, and it's also confusing. Any movie that requires an FAQ to explain it afterwards hasn't been particularly well made. There are lots of scenes that aren't properly explained (is Neville going mad, are things happening for real?) and some parts are just bizarre.

I Am Lengend was a great disappointment. While Smith is excellent, there's just not enough going on here to warrant 90 minutes.

Overall: 6.5/10. An action movie that's action-lite. Could have been so much better instead of a poorly cobbled together  storyline. Rent it on DVD.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS, or, more preferably in this world of endless beliefs and religions: Happy Non-Denominational Holiday!

Thanks for all your support this year - it's certainly been a good one.

Looking to the future, I just wanted to say that you can do anything you set your mind to. Whether it's getting a novel published, stopping smoking, or becoming a ballerina (ok maybe not that last one if you're over eight years old). Nothing's really beyond your reach; all you need is a tough skin, the willingness to work hard, and plenty of belief in yourself.

So, have a great holiday and here's to a glittering 2008.

I'm certainly looking forward to it.

Regards

Stuart Renton

We’ve all heard them before, over and over again:

•    Drink at least eight glasses of water a day
•    We use only 10% of our brains
•    Hair and fingernails continue to grow after death
•    Reading in dim light ruins your eyesight
•    Shaving causes hair to grow back faster or coarser
•    Mobile phones are dangerous in hospitals
•    Eating turkey makes people especially drowsy

A review of evidence by US researchers surrounding seven commonly-held beliefs suggests they are actually "medical myths".

Researchers from the Indiana University School of Medicine in Indianapolis hunted medical literature for evidence on each claim – finding no evidence to support the need to drink eight glasses of water a day.

In fact, studies suggest that adequate fluid intake is often met by drinking juice, milk, and even caffeine-rich tea and coffee.

The belief that we only use 10% of our brains appears to be completely untrue. Studies of patients with brain damage suggest that damage to almost any area of the brain has specific and lasting effects on mental, vegetative and behavioural capabilities. Brain imaging studies also show that no area of the brain is completely silent or inactive.

And the belief that hair and fingernails continue to grow after death may be an optical illusion caused by retraction of the skin after death - the actual growth of hair and nails requires a complex interplay of hormonal regulation not present after death.

Illusion may be to blame for the belief that shaving hair causes it to grow back faster, darker, and coarser.

Again, expert opinion is that reading in dim light does not damage your eyes.

And there is little evidence to support the banning mobile phones from hospitals on the basis of electromagnetic interference.

Finally, eating turkey - and the tryptophan amino acid it contains - does not make people especially drowsy. Indeed, turkey, chicken and minced beef contain similar amounts of tryptophan.

So there you go. It’s all a load of bunkum. Or is it?

What is funny is that the researchers didn't actually carry out any research of their own. Which is amusing. You can draw conclusions from established literature, but if no one's done the studies, then how do you know whether the people writing before you were correct.

Sounds like the researchers need to pass a Common Sense Test, first.

Well, my worst fears have come to pass: Peter Jackson is executive producer on The Hobbit.

What this means is the movie will look fantastic, but that Beorn will be a cross-dressing misogynist, and Bilbo's will have love interest by means of an elfin maiden called Doris... They Dwarves will go on the quest to kill the dragon, all the while agonising over their inner actors - I mean angst.

All rather depressing stuff.

Still, it could be worse; it could have been Michael Bay directing...

This is pretty amazing - a look at space with a super close up function.

http://www.skyfactory.org/vela/vela_int.htm#more

Really does make you think WOW.

Space, it's so darn purdy! 

So, Leon won the X-Factor and - well - I'm speechless when I shouldn't be, as not only does this happen every year, I know full well that the show is hugely contrived and that everything is planned from start to finish.

The innocent "they'd never fake the winner" part of my mind grumbles - to think that a vacuous and inarticulate kid can win over Rhydian, who was a consummate professional from show 1, proves that again we get some talentless boy who'll be forgotten in a few months. Gareth Gates, Michelle McManus, and what's his face from a few years ago...

See, I've forgotten already? They're just nameless faces behind average voices. 

But Rhydian will, I hope, be around for years...

It's sad, but a sign of the times. The show's really just a popularity contest, and young boys win over talent every day of the week. And it's all staged. Did I say that yet?

Oh well. Sad, but-oh-so true. I'm just ranting 'cos I lost my bet - stupid teenage girl vote. Grrrr.

So it's the meaty run up to Christmas and the turkey is getting nervous... and so are the scalpers.

There are over 3000 Nintendo Wiis for sale on Ebay.co.uk and most of them are going for UNDER the standard RRP of the machine. So now has never been a better time to pick up a Wii - probably from someone who's grinding their teeth that their ill-purchased console isn't going to pay for Christmas this year.

And all I can say is: "hurrah!" We've been the victim of console shortages and scalpers trying to rip people off for far too long - so this is a great sign that things are changing.

The newspapers were making fantastical claims that Wiis were selling for £1000 on Ebay. But I never saw them go for anything like that price - not this year or last.

Mind you, we all know the papers talk total crap.

Anyway. There are plenty of Wiis online - go gettem.

NEW THIS WEEK

ENCHANTED. When Disney characters find their way into our world, things take a turn for the worse for them - but hugely amusing for us. Brilliant stuff.

MR MAGORIUM'S WONDER EMPORIUM. Starring: Dustin Hoffman, Natalie (Oh Anakin, your lightsaber is so big!) Portman - will this movie be any good? Computer says no, but let's be open-minded enough to take a look and find out. Or we could just catch up on all the movies we've not yet seen...

STILL TO SEE

30 DAYS OF NIGHT - Vampires in the night-drenched town of Barrow, Alaska. Just go and see it already!

BEE MOVIE - It's a movie about a bee. What more can you possibly want out of life? They make honey and stuff!

BEOWULF - Fighting, monsters, and a naked (Computer Generated) ANGELINA JOLIE. I can't see the downside here.

RATATOUILLE - Very funny movie about a rat who wants to become a chef.

STARDUST - Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Claire Danes, star in this magical action adventure about love, life, and black magic. Far better than anything Pirates of the Caribbean could muster this decade.

THE GOLDEN COMPASS - Faithful(ish) adaptation of Philip Pullman's novel and a fun adventure across alternate reality Oxford.

SEE ONLY IF YOU HAVE TO…

ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS - I have nothing to say about this one. In fact, I feel dirty just mentioning it.

THE SANTA CLAUSE 3 - THE ESCAPE CLAUSE - This should have been called the Lost Cause - because it's so utterly crap. Tim Allen, what were you thinking? Oh yes, the sack of cash... I forgot.

FRED CLAUS - Starring: Vince Vaughan, Kevin Spacey - this movie really should never have been made - but, being Christmas, people will go see it anyway.

HITMAN - Computer game to a movie no one particularly cares about. This movie should have a silent "S" at the front of its name.

SHROOMS - crummy magic mushroom-themed horror flick starring no one you'll ever have heard of and which has the most unlikeable characters ever. Do they all die? Who cares!

The next issue of Shivers Magazine is out on the 21st December and features:

• Aliens Vs Predator: Requiem (including a very nifty-looking cover and some great information about the new horror/sci-fi movie).
• My work includes a review of Clive Barker's Jericho and a review of the release of Hellgate London (unlike most mags which reviewed months old beta code).
• A look forward to the most anticipated horror games of 2008.

Go buy it and let me know what you think.

It's semi final week, and this is a long review, so let’s just get on with it.

... but before I do, I'd like to say that I was dreading week eight, because I thought it would be insanely hard to choose someone to go, but thankfully, it wasn’t. In fact, it was worryingly easy. Find out why below.

ROUND ONE

Niki sang ‘Songbird’. A typically professional performance - she looked like she’d been singing for years. That said, I’d never heard this song before and that’s a risky place to be at this stage in the competition. We’ve all learned that the song is everything, and little-known songs at this stage can prove to be a disaster. Right now, Niki’s on fragile ground.

Leon – A decent performance with 'The Very Thought Of You', but this show is called the X Factor for a reason and Leon has no star qualities (aside from his voice). He’s a strong contender for the final, having got through week to week by winning over far weaker contestants, but it’s a shame as he’s got the personality of cardboard. That's OK because I quite like carboard; you can store stuff in it (like bananas), which wouldn't suit Leon at all, I mean you wouldn't be able to store many bananas in him (maybe a couple - but that's about it), would you? But I digress...

Rhydian: Please note that Dannii has now fully abandoned the camp songs of previous weeks. No risks are being taken – especially with this genius song choice of ‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’. Summary of the song. Awesome. Nothing to see here. Move along. Rhydian will sail into the final – as long as you all remember to vote, of course.

Same Difference sang ‘Chain Reaction’ and all I can say, open-mouthed is: “oh my god!” That was actually their first super weak performance. It was just too much all around. The performance was very energetic but the vocal was worryingly weak. I notice this was Simon’s choice – thus proving again that he’s a little bit useless. That should have been changed for something more in keeping with the twins’ voices. Dangerous ground, guys. Hate to say it but that song choice was hideous.

End of Round 1

Best Song: Rhydian
Worst Song: Same Difference (ugh)

ROUND TWO

Niki came first again with ‘One Moment in Time’. She needed to pull something amazing out of the bag this time but it was another weak song choice. Louis, what are you playing at? This song was far too big for her (like last week’s cleavage). With a performance like that, could someone be doing this ex-dinner lady behind the bike sheds next week?

Leon – Oh look, Leon chose another jazz number. Jazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. It’s Ray Quinn all over again. Only taller and less annoying (although only marginally). Sadly, I loved the song and the performance. What I loved MOST about Leon’s performance was seeing him undressing the dancers on stage. He’s like a younger version of Benny Hill. The dirty letch.

Rhydian came next with ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’. WOW. So accomplished. He’s in a league of his own. A genius song choice that’ll have the people in Liverpool crying in their curries. He’ll be walking – alone – into the final. God I’ve got to stop doing that!

Same Difference were last with their last ever chance to impress after the oh-so-dismal Chain Reaction. Singing ‘Never Had a Dream Come True’ this could have been the surprise performance of the night. It was so beautiful, and Sarah was simply heartbreaking as the song meant so much to her. If they don’t make the final now there’s no justice. I hope they’ve done enough as they’re fantastic and I’d like to see them win. Oh, we know Rhydian will win, but he’ll go on to do amazing things whereas Same Difference would be great performers. They’d also be great as the leads in High School Musical… Something to think about when you’re on the toilet.

Anyway. That’s it for this week. Not long for the results.

Sailing into the Final: Rhydian (getting tired of that).

Stumbling into Darkness: Niki

You've seen who I think will go. I've been right every single week so far. Will I be correct again? 

Find out in an hour...

The Golden Compass is based on Philip Pullman’s novel Northern Lights, which tells of Lyra, a young girl in an alternate universe Oxford under the control of the Magisterium, a malevolent organisation trying to suppress various beliefs of the population. Lyra’s adventures begin when she discovers the existence of Dust (ahh, Little Britain will never be the same again), a mystical substance which passes from one universe to the next (and whose meaning is not revealed in this movie). The Magisterium are trying to hide the existence of Dust. When Lyra’s friend, Roger, goes missing to the Gobblers, Lyra sets off the get him back. That’s about as much of the story as I dare reveal without ruining the story entirely. It’s a complicated affair with all sorts going on, but more on that below.

  

I loved this movie. It’s got elements of both The Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, which is to be expected from a children’s movie made by New Line Cinema, but doesn’t suffer from it. The story is a complex one with a lot of elements, and it could be slightly confusing to some, with characters just popping up seemingly to reveal a bit of information before vanishing again. Other than everything being crammed in to just under two hours, it flows very nicely and there’s never a dull moment.

The special effects are seamlessly integrated into the movie, and I think they could easily have the best I’ve ever seen. The costume design and the faithful realisation of Pullman’s Oxford is equally splendid and the daemons (humans have animal companions that are their souls) look splendid scurrying and flying around in every scene.
 
The cast is fantastic. Dakota Blue Richards is wonderful as the spunky Lyra, and Nicole Kidman is perfect as the sinister and controlling Mrs Coulter. My only criticism was the choice of Ian McKellan as Iorek the dancing (I mean armoured) bear. I just hear Gandalf now and it ruined the immersion – especially when he was crying “Run, Lyra, Run”, on the ice bridge.

Other than that, a fantastic movie that’s faithful to the book in as many ways as possible. There are even simmerings of anti-religion smattered throughout the movie – which was nice the see the director refusing to shy away from controversial issues.

Overall: 8/10. If you liked the book, you’ll love the movie adaptation of The Golden Compass. Consulting my Alethiometer, I can see that all signs point to a sequel in 2009.

Here'a a great comic strip featuring all the Doctors from Doctor Who.

It's currently in the process of being coloured, but is well worth a look.

The Ten Doctors 

There are other movies around, I think, but it's The Golden Compass that you should be seeing. you've already seen the first five minutes, now what more of an incentive do you need?

OK, in case you can't stomach Lyra's adventures on Old Oxford, there's also:

NEW THIS WEEK

Bee Movie - animated movie about a bee. The clue's in the title. This isn't Catchphrase, you know!

Fred Claus - seasons cheer with the dysfunctional Claus family

ALSO PLAYING 

30 Days of Night - still worth seeing: Vampires - tick. Gorefest - tick

Beowulf - nudity galore - tick

Ratatouille - a rat with big dreams in Paris

That's about it for this week. But who cares? The Golden Compass is out! It's the next best thing to Harry Potter. Snatch up your Alethiometer and get down to the movies at once.

I've been looking around at the prices of the Nintendo WII - and I'm shocked to see the number of 'professional' companies who have hiked the price of the console for the holiday season.

Only Amazon and Toys R Us appear to have avoided the price boost - I've seen the consoles elsewhere for £279.99 - the same price as an XBOX 360 - all over the web.

It seems there are lots of unscrupulous company directors willing to take advantage of the lack of consoles - fleecing people for £100 more than the console is worth (actually it's nothing more than a recycled Gamecube - but I won't start on that again).

I think it's a shame that the Wii is so popular because, although it's a good fun console, it hasn't got the games or support of the 360.

If you want a console this holiday season - buy an X360 360. It's got so many great games - you really can't go wrong. And you can pick one up for the same price as a Wii!

I saw a Wii console - second hand - in one of those crummy "We Buy Your Goods for Cash" stores - for £279.99. Second hand! That's outrageous! But people will pay whatever price to get what they believe is 'the gift to own this Christmas'.

We've got Nintendo claiming this was all an accident and that lack of sales is bad for business. I scoff at that. Ex-price fixers Nintendo are clearly behind this ridiculous console shortage. Or does no one remember the eighty million dollars they were fined for price fixing only a handful of years ago? This was all carefully orchestrated, and the world fell right into their hands.

Genius. Unethical, but oh-so-genius. 

The very first screenshot from Star Trek Online has been released!

Looks quite interesting, doesn't it? No idea how it's all going to work and it probably will be terrible, but judge for yourself - courtesy of the Computer and Video Games website.

At least it's nice and colourful. 

You can see more concept art at the Star Trek Online website at http://www.startrekonline.com/gallery/

I'm not quite sure where this season has gone. It's episode 11 and the season finale. Will there be more episodes? Possibly - the writers' strike has killed off chances for further episodes - but I can't say I'm overly worried.

Why? Because it's quite clear that Heroes peaked with season 1 and, after 11 episodes of season 2, there's not a lot of signs that it can make a comeback. The show has definitely lost its way. While it still has some exciting moments, the sparkle of season 1 has long gone, and even the actors seem to be plodding through the episodes.

Heroes suffered primarily from trying to divide its screen time among far too many characters. There were too many annoying or pointless new ones, and existing characters were relegated to the back burner for a large number of episodes. I still can't think of a reason why Nichelle Nichols (Star Trek's Uhura) makes an appearance, or why her family was added to the show. It's yet another set of characters to water down the storyline and to make the show limp feebly along.

There is a main storyline in season 2, or rather, I think there is. But it's hard to tell as it ambles along and has none of the emotion or emphasis of its freshman year. It's at best a collection of vaguely related storylines and inconsistent characters doing bizarre things without any discernible motive or reason.  

I can't say too much (for fear of spoilers), but the season finale was just one more in a long line of hugely contrived episodes. Logic, emotion, and family values have gone out the window and characters are following perplexing agendas as though they were stripped of reason and commanded to act against their will by a higher power. That said, everything is wrapped up in this episode and there's a great (but not unexpected) twist at the end.

There are still some great points in the show, and this is definitely a FAR better finale than the one at the end of season 1, but the show's flagging and needs to be put to bed with stiff hot toddy and told to come back downstairs when its really thought about what its done.

Hopefully next year, we'll see a return to form for the superhero show we all know and love, but for now, Heroes is exactly like the season finale's namesake: Powerless.

You can now see the first five minutes of The Golden Compass (in glorious HD if you like) by visiting the following link:

The Golden Compass - First Five Minutes

What do you think? I thought it was pretty interesting and looked very stylish. 

Guess we'll find out more in a few days.

What, I hear you ask? Well 2 Moons is a Massively Multiplayer game that no one's heard of. And, if you're wondering why, it's because they do great things like sending me an email this morning, inviting me to take part in their special Winter Adventure...

Which started on Friday and ended yesterday. That's one hell of an on-the-ball promotion!

"TREASURE CHEST 

Fri, Sat, and Sun, a GM will randomly spawn treasure chests in hidden areas. Once hidden, the GM willmake <sic> a global announcement that they have hidden chests in a shard. Find the hidden chests to receive the unknown treasures inside!"

I know I'd really loved to have been hunting for treasure chests in a game no one's heard of. What's next for 2 Moons - weekend 'Watch Digital Paint Drying' contests.

My personal favourite, though, would be: "who can log out and forget about this game the quickest".

Remember I talked about Tin Man - Sci-Fi Channel's exciting new TV miniseries based on The Wizard of Oz, back in October?

This Might Jog Your Memory

Anyway, I was pretty critical of it in my preview - and I was spot on the money. It's as dire as I said it was going to be. Worserer even! Don't believe me? Here's what the press said about it:

USA Today started the bitchfest with: Tin Man is simply too long, too grim and too determined to impose a Lord of the Rings universe-saving quest on top of a simpler, gentler story. 

The New York Times continues the offensive: A sonorous dungeons-and-dragons affair that seems at every moment to call attention to its epicness. It runs over three nights and is too long by a few hours.

The Chicago Sun-Times lays a smackdown: The dialogue is utilitarian, except when it's "Dungeons and Dragons" cliche, like: "We're travelers of the realms seeking a warm meal and a cold cup of grog. ... May your hearth be warm." Puke. ... At six hours, it feels four hours too long. So if you're interested, record it and watch it on fast-forward. You can hit pause for the evil flying monkey boobs.

But it gets worse... 

The San Diego Union-Tribune isn't impressed: The only magical thing about “Tin Man” is its amazing ability to make six hours pass like six days. … Neither the scripts nor the colorless directing do the actresses any favors, but without an empathetic heroine to love and a fire-breathing villainess to loathe, “Tin Man” is just a rattletrap special-effects vehicle on its way to nowhere. Feel free to let it wheeze on down the road without you.

The San Jose Mercury News was not amused: There is a distinct lack of emotional oomph emanating from this dark, disjointed and humorless miniseries, which too often seems preoccupied with special-effects magic and oh-aren't-we-clever twists on Baum's characters. As a result, you might want to take a pass on this particular Oz fest. …

And lastly, The Boston Globe didn't hold back: A dour retelling of the L. Frank Baum story, and it just keeps sinking further and further into pointless thematic complexity and visual density. A test of viewer endurance, this effects-bound miniseries is a hollow tin man in need of a beating heart.

Guess they didn't like it, then!

Told you so!

I just wonder how this crap gets made. Obviously the Sci-Fi Channel has more money than sense. 

Good news! The Golden Compass isn't as dumbed-down as I first thought it would be. I saw the final trailer (before the December 5th release date) today and - lo and behold - the Golden Compass was referred to as an Alethiometer (instead of the utterly dumbed-down Golden Compass). Hurrah! We Brits could cope with the Philosopher's Stone in Harry Potter; we sure as hell can get our mouth around an Alethiometer as well.

The critics have panned the movie as a soulless version of the books. But they always do that. They fail to realise these movies are targetted at children - because they are children's books!

Personally, I don't care what the critics think. There's still hope for this movie yet!

I went to see Ratatouille yesterday. It's a Pixar movie about a rat called Remy who realises he wants more than just being a rat and wants to be a chef. So when he finds himself in Paris - he sets out for the most famous chef in all the city with the intent of emulating him.

This is s a great movie that deserves to be seen by all ages as it has something in it to appeal to everyone. There are some really very funny scenes, and I haven't laughed out loud that often in ages. Characters are charming and it's an action-packed ninety minutes with very few, if any, slow moments.

Overall: 8/10. Very funny. 

It’s week – oh who cares? – on the X Factor and each of the five remaining contestants gets to sing two songs - the first of which no one will remember by the time the voting starts!

Now we're in the semi final round, the voting is out of the judges’ hands and the results are entirely dependent on the public vote. We already know who’s going out this week – but let’s pretend we don’t and go through motions. OK, let’s begin.

Round One

First up was Rhydian with a very strong performance of "Somebody to Love". Really cool, stylish, and fun. Fantastic fun; he absolutely deserves to win.

The fighters Hope came second, singing the Spice Girls’ "Two Become One". They look amazing and while the vocals were weak, it was still a decent performance.

Dinner lady Niki was up third with “Total Eclipse of the Heart”. Really strong vocal, she looked great and sounded fantastic – almost as good as Bonnie Tyler herself. Nearly, but not quite.

When Leon came on I was uttering the mantra: please don’t dance, please don’t dance - and thankfully, he didn’t. A vast improvement from the Spin-Cycle Scot - Singing “Crazy Little Thing Called Love”, he sounded great. Very confident – a huge transformation from the terrified cry baby from the first few shows. That performance could be enough to see him through to next week.

Bringing up the rear of the first half of the show was Same Difference, who sang “Any Dream Will Do”. Surprising song choice, but when you think how popular Joseph is at the moment, this was genius on Simon’s behalf. A decent, if not fantastic performance. I hope they stay in to next week.

Round Two

Hope led up the second round of songs with “We Will Rock You”. It was sassy and strong and I really liked it. Perhaps their best performance yet. But will it be enough for the wannabee WAGS? Oh, we all know the answer to that...

Leon came second and what on earth was all that vitriol from Louis about Dannii never having a hit? Not content with low blows at the contestants, he’s attacking the gorgeous Miss Minogue now. He should be forcefully ejected from the show from being an acidic little bitch… Leon sang “The Long and Winding Road”, and aside from a ropey final note, did a great job of this song. Two strong performances and such a popular contestant means we’ll probably be seeing him next week.

Up third was Same Difference with the oh-my-god set cheese to the max with Wham’s “Wake Me Up Before you Go Go”. Not a lot I can say about this. Ultra cheesy – but utterly brilliant. They’d have a massive hit with that this Christmas.

Niki had the penultimate song of the night with “Fields of Gold”. She sang it beautifully, but it’s not a well-known song and a risky choice at this stage of the contest. She's wasted under Louis and I’d like to see her under Simon, and I know how that sounds, and you all have such dirty minds!

The final song of the night was Rhydian with “I Vow to Thee My Country / World In Union”. A genius song choice – used several times over the last few years to garner the patriotic vote. Such a great idea – a Welshman singing a Welsh anthem. Brilliant stuff. Bet he gets 50k votes from that song alone. 

So in summary, a better show than those of previous weeks. It’s going to be an interesting final whoever goes out tonight. Some fantastic performers in the show now, far better than previous years. There's no one that's really weak, and next week is going to be amazingly hard to call.

But this is this week and there’s no doubt at all that Hope is going tonight. 

That said, the voting public is a fickle beast and anything is possible. We’ve seen the favourites to win go out at this stage, so no one is safe.

My money is on Rhydian to go through to the semi-final and Hope to go tonight!

It's nearly the holiday season (I'll be saying that with ever increasing frequency over the next few weeks) and these are the movies out now and coming soon!

NEW THIS WEEK

• Hitman - starring Timothy Olyphant as the computer game to movie's eponymous hero - err - villain - err main character who goes around killing people for money. Really, the clue's in the title...
• Fred Claus - wildly different reports about the quality of this one, but there's always a bunch of seasonal films out at Christmas (conspiracy?). If you like your Xmas flicks, this is definitely the one to see - or wait two weeks for Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, which is released on the 14th December (and which could also be terrible - in which case let's never speak of this post again).

STILL TO SEE

• Beowulf - excellent, action packed, and adult. See my equally excellent, actioned packed, and adult review, below.
• 30 Days of Night - I've gone on and on about this stylish horror flick. Go see it before the sun comes up it vanishes until the next 30 days of darkness.
• Ratatouille - animated adventure with the cartoon rat from Paris. Well worth seeing.

COMING UP

• The Golden Compass - watered down version of the book. But aren't they all?
• Aliens Versus Predator 2: Requiem - Monster sequel to the decidedly average first movie. Looks to be a lot better from the trailers - and we even get to see the aliens in daylight - wooo!
• I Am Legend - Will Smith gets jiggy with Vampires in New York.

We really are spoiled for choice this holiday season (see, I said it again - there's a bit of symmetry for you!).