Many of you will already have seen this, but if you're a dog lover, then this will be doubly amusing.

Really, no other introduction is needed! Veronica, if you're reading, this one's for you!

It took long enough, but it finally happened: after years of trying, I got work with esteemed gaming magazine PC Zone. I'm elated about this, because I get to write about all those games I've been playing (and complaining about) for so long.

My first two pager will be in one of the early 2010 issues when I'll be doing State of Play on the grand-daddy of MMOs, Ultima Online.

It was very strange going back to a twelve year old game, but more on my 2d shenanigans in game.

So, congratulations to me, I think.

You've probably already seen this, but this Ebay offer is just too good to miss:

Who Ate All The Pies?

They're basically selling over a MILLION fruit pies (of the generic kind, by the looks of it), and right now, the bidding has gone up to £100,000.

And, bless, someone's asked the seller the question: we're only a small cafe, any chance we could buy the pies and have them shipped to us weekly! At that rate it would take them five hundred thousand years to get rid of all the pies!

Absolutely brilliant!

Go on, place a bid. You know you want to!

I know I say it every year, but I really do have to talk about the X Factor. I mean, c'mon, how crap was this week's show? It was the first live heat and while all the judges were brimming with platitudes and superlatives like 'best show ever', all I could think was how distinctly lackluster it was, and how all but a handful of the acts were decidedly ropey. Cats mewling were appropriate for a couple of the acts.

Nice Guy Olly just sounded dreadful, Ricky seemed out of his depth, and sure fire to win, Stacey didn't seem to know quite what she was singing.

I won't even get started on the twins John and Edward.

Only Joe, Rachel, Jamie and Danyl excelled, the others were just the typical dross that pads out the show to ten gruelling weeks.

Next week is Diva Night, so I can't wait to see what John and Edward will murder. Rachel should be in her element, as will Danyl, but the rest, well, we can only hope they do better.

But if this is the best "talent" the UK has to offer out of the hundreds of thousands that auditioned, well, it's no wonder the country is a shit hole.