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Alien vs Predator: Requiem is the semi-sequel to 2004’s Alien vs Predator, and, with two of the biggest and baddest monsters in blockbuster history in one movie, you have to ask yourself: how could a movie like this fail?
That's a good question, actually.
Remember the predator ship that left earth at the end of the first AvP movie? Well it’s been orbiting the earth, until the alien in the infected predator bursts from its chest, causing havoc on the ship, which plummets to earth and crashes down in a remote American town. The facehuggers escape, and it’s up to one predator summoned from the predator homeworld to stop the infestation.
The story focuses on the inhabitants of this small town, and really, while they all have back stories, they’re not really interesting enough to go into detail here. It’s mostly a lot of screaming, running around with guns, and buckets of gore.
AVPR has a lot of things that stop it being a decent action-horror movie. It’s primarily filmed at night and as a result, it’s unsurprisingly dark. But it's too dark. The fights are too dark and blurry, which defeats the object of having aliens in the movie as you really don’t get to see a lot of them. It might as well be two humans scrapping as that’s pretty much all you get to see. Its lots of blurred shadows, punctuated with a few alien screeches.
It's not an awful movie. Just a distinctly average one. The licence has so much potential, yet its wasted on this low-imagination effort. My biggest gripe (and they did the same with Transformers) is that the movie’s called “Aliens vs Predator”, yet the movie spends the majority of the time dealing with humans and their storyline. Which is a bit weak. I'd at least liked to have seen the alien or predator storylines advanced in some way. It's more like WWF than an out of this world battle between two unfathomable alien forces.
Overall: 6/10. Far better than the original, but still a not as good as it could - or should – have been. With weak acting, even weaker story, and lots of darkness to hide the action, there’s plenty here for the Alien fans to gripe over.
I saw this movie last night and memories of it are still tormenting me. Set in the '50s, it's the story of Meg, a young girl whose parents are killed in a car accident. She and her crippled sister, Susan, go to stay with her Aunt Ruth, a divorcee who lives with her three young boys.
Meg befriends David, the boy next door, who takes an instant like to her, and, as the story unfolds, Meg reveals the details of her troubled life to her new friend. Aunt Ruth is a bitter and somewhat strange woman, and she takes out her frustrations on Meg. At first it starts with her simply starving Meg, but that's just the start of things to come.
I can't say too much about this movie because the last half is so harrowing. There's no other word for it. But I wanted to write about it as it's an example of suffering based on a true story. The horrors some people will subject others too is just boggling. And what Meg endures is simply terrible. I keep asking myself if there's a grain of truth to this story, what she endured at Aunt Ruth and her children's hands.
Was Aunt Ruth crazy? Watch the movie and make up your own mind. But if you're even remotely sensitive about torture and punishment, then this is not the movie for you.
Overall: 7.10 - a harrowing and very difficult movie to watch. Tthere are some torture scenes which, while they're not particularly graphic, what Meg endures is truly terrible and those images drift back to haunt you over the next day or so.
Although this is a decent movie, I would not recommend it to anyone. Ever.
Not only has the Cloverfield monster mashed up New York city, the movie has also decimated the box office, shattering all records for a first weekend in January, taking $46 million (the movie only cost $20 to make). That's one hell of a profit.
And you'll soon be able to cuddle up at night next to your Cloverfield monster.
While - like the movie - they're being deliberately cagey about showing you the monster, you can check out the blurb by clicking the link below.
CLOVERFIELD
Do I really need to talk about this? … OK. It’s a movie about a monster that comes to destroy New York, but filmed entirely on web cams so if you’re motion-sensitive, you’ll throw up all through this movie. Don’t expect lots of the monster, though, as it’s only visible for just shy of three minutes.
See a Trailer: http://www.cloverfieldmovie.com/
Release Date: OUT NOW!
NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS
Nicholas Cage reprises his action adventure role this time to find the President of America’s lost secret diary.
See a Trailer: http://www2.disney.co.uk/DisneyMovies/nationaltreasure2/
Release Date: OUT NOW
JUMPER
Action movie about a man who can transport himself
instantly to any location on the planet - at will - only he finds
there’s a whole group of ‘jumpers’ who are embroiled in a deadly war.
See a Trailer: http://www.jumperthemovie.com/
Release Date: OUT NOW
RAMBO
It’s been 20 years, but Stallone reprises his war veteran loner role in this bloody action movie. In Thailand, John Rambo assembles a group of mercenaries and leads them up the Salween River to a Burmese village where a group of Christian aid workers allegedly went missing.
See a Trailer: http://www.apple.com/trailers/lions_gate/rambo/
Release Date: OUT NOW
MEET THE SPARTANS
300 spoof by the ‘fantastic’ makers of Date Movie and Epic Movie. This will probably be utterly terrible.
See a Trailer: http://www.meetthespartans.com/
Release Date: OUT NOW
DIARY OF THE DEAD
Romero’s newest zombie movie, this time brought entirely up to date and a bit like Cloverfield (or so the previewers say). Romero’s quite like a zombie as he never quite goes away and he must be hundreds of years old by now…
Find out More: http://www.myspace.com/diaryofthedead
Release Date: OUT NOW
10,000 BC
A prehistoric epic that follows a young mammoth hunter's journey through uncharted territory to secure the future of his tribe.
Find out More: http://www.10000bcmovie.com/
Release Date: OUT NOW
CJ7 / CHEUNG GONG 7 HOU
Super cute movie about a Chinese inventor who finds the perfect gift for his son: a strange alien creature.
Find out More: http://www.sonypictures.net/movies/cj7/
Release Date: 21st March
THE SPIDERWICK CHRONICLES
The what? I hear you ask… Well it's based on the popular children's fantasy series from Holly Black and Tony DiTerlizzi. The Grace family depart New York City for a quieter home, but excitement isn't far away when they move into the strange family house in the country.
See a Trailer: http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/thespiderwickchronicles/
Find out More: http://www.spiderwickchronicles.com/
Release Date: OUT NOW
IRON MAN
Robert Downey Jr. stars as Tony Stark, a man who becomes a superhero after a near-death incident, in this big-budget Marvel Comics adaptation. Iron powered superpowers abound. But who is the supervillain? Please let it be Rust Man... *
See a Trailer: http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/ironman/
Find out More: http://www.ironmanmovie.com/
Release Date: 2 May 2008
*that was a joke!
INDIANA JONES 4
Twenty-five years after "Raiders of the Lost Ark," Harrison Ford reprises his role in "Indiana Jones 4."
Find out More: http://www.indianajones.com/site/index.html
Release Date: 22 May 2008
THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN
The characters of C.S. Lewis's timeless fantasy come to life once again in this newest installment of the "Chronicles of Narnia" series, in which the Pevensie siblings are magically transported to the world of Narnia where a thrilling, perilous new adventure and an even greater test of their faith and courage awaits them. I bet you can't wait!
See a Trailer: Coming soon!
Find out More: Coming soon!
Release Date: 27 June 2008
KUNG FU PANDA
Animated action adventures with a panda who’s rubbish at kung fu. The animation looks fantastic – well worth a look.
Find out More: http://www.kungfupanda.com/
Release Date: 4 July 2008
THE DARK KNIGHT
Do I really need to say any more. Sequel to the 2005 super dark Batman Begins starring Christian Bale, Michael Caine, and that crap bird from Dawson's Creek (who's thankfully not in this movie). With a new outfit, the Bat Bike, and the Joker, this sets out to be bigger and better than the first movie (and hopefully no rubber nipples or chaps).
See the Teaser Page: http://ibelieveinharveydent.warnerbros.com/
Find out More: http://thedarkknight.warnerbros.com/
Release Date: 25 July 2008
HELLBOY 2: THE GOLDEN ARMY
With a signature blend of action, humor and character-based spectacle, the saga of the world's toughest, kitten-loving hero from Hell continues to unfold in Hellboy 2: The Golden Army. Bigger muscle, badder weapons and more ungodly villains arrive in an epic vision of imagination from Oscar®-nominated director Guillermo del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth, Hellboy). After an ancient truce existing between humankind and the invisible realm of the fantastic is broken, hell on Earth is ready to erupt.
See a Trailer: Come back soon…
Release Date: 22 August 2008
HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3: SENIOR YEAR
Sequel to the amazingly successful High School Musical Disney movies. Expect exactly more of the same, only this time there’ll be songs and dancing themed around Graduation Day.
Release Date: 10 October 2008
STAR TREK XI
New Star Trek movie. I don’t think anything more needs to be said…
Release Date: 26 October 2008
AVATAR
Based on the fantastic cartoon of the same name and directed by super action-meister James Cameron. In the future, Jake, a paraplegic war veteran, is brought to another planet, Pandora, which is inhabited by the Na'vi, a humanoid race with their own language and culture. Those from Earth find themselves at odds with each other and the local culture.
See a Trailer: http://www.avatarmovie.co.uk/avatar-trailer.php
Find out More: http://www.avatarmovie.co.uk/
Release Date: Sometime in 2009
Finally a new movie after the quiet new year period. This week we have Alien Versus Predator Requiem - the semi-sequel to the 2005 Alien Vs Predator. Alien fans rejoice!
WORTH SEEING
I Am Legend - Will Smith battles a lack of story in 90 minutes of eye candy. Decent movie but the originals are far superior.
Bee Movie - Cute, happy cartoon about a bee who wants to be more than just a worker in the hive. Leaves you with a smile on your face.
Enchanted - Wonderful fantasy tale of magic and romance in the cartoon and real worlds.
Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium - Failing a bit now the wonder of Christmas has past but still worth a look if you've really nothing better to do.
The Golden Compass – Vaguely faithful but castrated version of the Philip Pullman novel. Gorgeous, but somewhat empty.
COMING SOON
Cloverfield - Monster movie from Lost director J J Abrams. Be warned, it's not Godzilla and the monster's only visible for 3 and a half minutes...
If the line-up looks a bit drab, don't worry, there are PLENTY of great movies coming out in 2008. This will be a great year for superheroes, monsters, and heroes.
The Writers Guild of America strike has finally taken its first victim. The eagerly awaited Justice League movie has been officially put on hold, until the whole strike action has been resolved.
Right now, it all looks like it's going to go on for some time as no one is backing down and the studios, knowing they can't finish their shows for this year, are cancelling everything. That way they'll save millions of dollars.
So don't expect any new shows for the rest of 2008. If we're lucky, we might see shows starting again for the 2009 season (that's starting Autum 2008), and right now, that's if we're lucky.
I have a sneaky suspicion that all will be sorted come Spring. Why the writers can't just go back to work - they've lost more now than they'll ever make back. I'd not be surprised to see them working at Burger King this summer...
Anyway, the TV studio hasn't bothered to release the cast list for Justice League, so we'll all just have to wait now.
By the way. the movie's scheduled for a release in 2010.
If you really cared. Which, at this point, I don't suppose you really do.
And I don't blame you.
Striking sucks!
The festive season has long gone and the once well stocked chocolate stash is now, like Mother Hubbard's rhyming cupboard, bare.
But, don't you just love it when you see a box of chocolates - in this case delicious milk chocolate After Eight Mints - and you think it's empty, yet a quick nosey uncovers one final mint tucked away at the very bottom.
And they say the best things in life are free.
Whoever said that clearly hadn't had an After Eight Mint!
I mean, they're not free! They're quite expensive, actually.
But that aside, the statement still stands!
This was interesting: it’s Tom Cruise’s interview on Scientology.
See it here
It’s admirable that someone is trying to help others - no one can ever deny that. But whether Tom (and the Church's) intentions are entirely genuine, no one can know. He does look like a grinning buffoon in this heavily-cut interview. He does an awful lot of blathering and laughing and knee-slapping – like he’s part of some highly amusing secret club that no-one else is allowed to join.
BTW, SP is Scientology speak for Suppressive Person. KWS is Keep Scientology Working. Don’t you feel better for knowing all that jargon?
his “spokesman” for Scientology says an awful lot, without actually saying anything at all. Apart from a few gestures toward benevolence, love, hope, and a better society, he tells us all how great it is to be a Scientologist and how great his life is, but I wonder if Tom is giving any of his vast income to the poor, or actually using his hands and body to do better. I do feel a bit cynical saying that, but I sincerely doubt it.
Now for the exciting quotes:
Tom: A scientologist does. They have the ability to create new realities and better conditions.
Truth: We all have that power. It’s not given exclusively to Scientologists. We’re all responsible for our own actions. We can all do better and create realities simply by doing and believing in a better future. We can reach out to others and show compassion, and no religion has the right to claim exclusivity over that.
Tom: Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident, it’s not like anyone else. You know you have to do something about it as you know you’re the only one who can really help.
Truth: I don’t need to state this one. ‘cos what he’s saying is elitist crap. We can all help – in the smallest ways. We don’t need to gawk out of the window at the unfortunate victims of an accident; we have a choice to stop and see if we can help. This is how we make a difference. There, thus the lesson endeth and it didn't cost you a wad of cash that the Scientologists would have charged you.
Tom then goes on about being ‘on board or not being on board’. That, I guess, means that you can help the world by being a Scientologist or you can leave it alone and do your own (selfish) thing.
We don’t NEED religion to make the world a better place. We don’t need to name and pigeon-hole ourselves. We just don’t need faith in a supreme power or in anything but ourselves.
We can make our own future, can we reach out to others, and we can be better people. We can see when we’ve done wrong and make amends.
We choose our fates. We choose to be kind, compassionate, or mean. It’s as simple as that. We choose to be angry or resentful, and we definitely choose how we react to others.
Tom “I Don’t Mince My Words” Cruise says: "if you want to make a difference to the world, become a Scientologist. It’ll stop you being overwhelmed by life".
There's no secret knowledge that the Scientologists hold that we don't already know. We know how to be kind, how to love, how to forgive, and how to show compassion to others. We don't need to learn these things from a book or from people who claim to know better... Some of us might need to remember them, but we all know them instinctively.
Religions never really hold the answers.
Scientology could be great; it really could. But there’s a higher power
than any one person, and that’s our OWN inner voice. Listen to that and
you’ll never go far wrong.
It's been a long time coming, and, quite frankly, it needn't have bothered.
The story begins fifteen years after Terminator 2 with Sarah Connor and her fifteen year old son, John, still on the run from the machinations of future-based super computer Skynet. It wisely ignores the third movie entirely, which is about the best thing about this pilot episode.
What the show has, and in droves, is lots of explosions, guns, time travel, and action, but what it badly needs is a decent storyline.
Right now it's a cheap and rather drab version of the movies. The fact that it's the Terminator kept me watching through the pilot 45 minutes, but whether it can continue to do so week after week is the main question. It's smaller in every way, it's obvious, it's loud, and it's predictable. Dream sequences are obvious beyond words, and the bad guys couldn't be more obvious if they had BAD GUY marked over their heads in pink neon.
So, devoid of style, sophistication, or an intelligent storyline, can this series succeed? In the vein of The Bionic Woman, and Flash Gordon, it's nothing new or particularly interesting. It's another watered-down remake that never should have happened.
But can it turn around?
I'll be watching the next episode, but unless things take a major turn for the better, this is one show that should be terminated.
See what I did there?
OK. This is a bit naughty (possibly too naughty for my column) but it's too good to pass up!
This is a list of actual places in the world... I've removed the worst offenders!
It's here. The trailer no one's particularly been waiting for.
It is just me or is does this look just a tiny bit pants?
Loads of things happening this year (and it's only the 7th of January). Picked up an exciting new project working with a top UK company on a very exciting title.
Notice how I'm saying "project" and "title"? Well, I can't talk about the details yet, but I'm literally itching to blab about it to anyone who'll listen (and even to those folks who won't).
So, more on that when I can say more.
In other news: I've been asked to go to London to see the preview of Dead Space - the hugely anticipated horror shoot 'em up by EA. I get to be a real journalist for a few days...
Now, I just need to get this book deal sorted. I notice the front page of my website still says "I'll have news of my new book" and that was April 07.
Better get my skates on.
Did you know that only 6% of Britons donate any money on a regular basis to charity, and that a vast majority of those are people who really can't afford it.
That's probably no surprise to anyone.
So, why am I even mentioning it? Well, apart from a moan at the wealthy - who are quite content to hoard their cash without sharing it those who really need it - I was watching a show today about the super rich and there was one fashion designer who earned 100 million from his beauty products, yet did he give so much as a single penny of it to those who need it?
I think you know the answer. It's NO!
It really made me feel quite sick. I know everyone's entitled to keep their "hard-earned" wealth, but there are so many charities in need of funds, or people who can never even begin to earn that kind of money, yet this 'celebrity' insists of spending tens of thousands on diamond jewellery for his chihuahua.
I then started thinking about all the money pointlessly wasted on - well endless trivialities - and it sickens me. We all spend so much on nonsense, and the important things have fallen by the wayside. I've got a friend who's obsessed with fashion labels, and another who has no concept of lasting friendships - and both of them looked at me with disgust when I suggested donating some of their money to charity.
And I don't know anyone who gives even a penny to charity or who would consider donating any of their time to help people less fortunate than themselves. Strike that, I don't know anyone who has admitted to me that they donate to charity.
And, when you consider that, don't you find it just a little bit depressing?
Attention! You won’t like this movie if you:
• Have locked your inner child away in an iron maiden
• Hate Disney / cartoons / song and dance numbers
• Hate anything cute
If you are any of the above, skip past this review – there’s nothing to see here. I’m sure I’ll be doing a review of 101 Cat Massacres sometime in 2008.
But for now, Disney’s latest movie release is Enchanted, the tale of Giselle (Amy Adams), a maiden seeking her one true love in the cartoon land of Andalasia. When she meets her prince, she is destined to be married, only her betrothed, Prince Edward (James Marsden) has a wicked mother mother – the dragon Queen Narissa (Susan Sarandon) – who has other plans about Edward's future. She tricks Giselle into falling down a hole into a strange and terrible land – our world.
There, the naive and confused Giselle meets Robert Philip (Patrick Dempsey), who takes her in as Giselle searches for her one true love in a strange and unfamiliar land where everything isn’t quite as simple as things were in Andalasia. From movie to live action (and back again), the story is a cross between Snow White and Pretty Woman and builds nicely to its spectacular confrontation of good over evil, with a nice twist along the way.
Enchanted is very bright and colourful, with some wonderful songs. Amy Adams is wonderful as Giselle, as is all the cast, with particular nod to Susan Sarandon as the exceptionally camp Evil Queen.
I’ll make no bones about this one: I LOVED this movie. It’s magical and filled with hope and positive messages. It’s a world I wish we lived in, where everyone is simple, uncomplicated, and where you can tell the good guys from the bad.
Overall: 9/10. Enchanting. I’s a movie that starkly contrasts today’s doom and gloom movies by declaring that dreams can come true. It may seem impossible in today’s horrendously bleak world, but Enchanted says that by being true to yourself, anything is possible.
And I’d rather like to believe that.
